Day 7 - Stress, Bureaucracy and Bullsh*t

Ah, the lovely world of protocol. This wonderful place where the guidelines are simply suggestions, the rules are self-explanatory and the name of the game is, "Do what feels right." Sike.

Where I work you must adhere to your duties and prepare to be subject to everyone else's opinions about how well you perform them. While it is often said that everyone brings an individual and unique perspective to the work environment, you are clearly expected to adjust those lenses and conform, point blank. We are not interested in self discovery, not on our dollar. And be sure to clock in at the exact minute you got here. Okay, 8:02 A.M. it is.

Now what I love most about corporate America is the red tape. Yes, the places they want to you go only in your mind...as you think of new marketing strategies and ways to minimize expenses and increase the profit margin. Be innovative, yes! Be creative, yes! Be enthusiastic, yes! But B out of line and your A will B plum out of luck as they C you to the door.

Let me (re-)introduce you to the stress, bureaucracy and bullsh*t you NO DOUBT have experienced at your job.

1) Gossip

This barely needs any elaboration. You walk in five minutes early to settle in and get your coffee and none other than "Dan the man" is waiting at your desk ready to challenge your early morning mental capacity for sarcasm by commenting on Sarah's powerpoint presentation and email sent out last night. Did you proof it? Of course. Were there lots of errors? Sure. Should she be able to do her job better. You bet. Do you care. Not in the slightest.

2) Small Talk

Ha! This is one of my favorites. Hello Mr. Boss-who-I-could-care-less-how-your-kid-did-in-her-softball-game-last-night Smith. SOOO great to see you again! Yes, I still have my dog Lucky. He's doing well. Oh no, I didn't get a chance to attend the company happy hour last week. Oh, certainly I will be at the meeting on Friday at 7:00 A.M. Absolutely looking forward to the reivew of the annual Orlando meeting! Great! You too! Byyyye!

Gag me.

3) Write ups. Demerits. Verbal warnings. You name it and I've done it. For all the nuances and idiosyncracies in life, sending someone home for a dress code violation doesn't seem quite as important as that person who was late five consecutive times. It's all just a matter of principal. And you have to follow our rules. The End. I still don't know why I should have to pay $1.00 just to wear pants on Fridays though, just saying.

4) After-hours events

Please raise your hand if you enjoy spending Thursday evenings at after-hours events with your work....Oooh! ME! ME! Yeah, when there's free food and beverages, sure. However when I have better things to do than waste spend a Friday evening with my work crew networking and mingling, I certainly will go home and catch up on the gossip on Monday. (See reason #1 above)

There IS something to be said for the value of networking and business luncheons and such. However, when we are on MY time and "off the clock" I will spend it MY way.

Needless to say, this is one small piece of corporate America that I will be happy to leave behind.