Day 15 - Goals

I believe I have reached a breeching point. Yes, this is the place where I have sauntered much much too long and now the time has come, yea I say, forcefully, to MOVE.

Laziness is a brash word that is often overused. In this instance I have simply languished in my freedom and lack of accountability from all sources. It's been wonderful. Sleepy weekends lying in bed, late brunch-lunches and all night cooking sessions. I've gotten a chance to catch up on my youtubing, watching endless hours of music videos, DIYs and online documentaries. Frivolous travels to visit lovers and friends, family members and foes. And now...it is time.

Many nights pretending I will put my P90X DVD in, not today, but tomorrow, pushing off workouts until never comes. Yes, today it must all come to an end. I have peaked at this realization that depsite my undying nature to please and be pleased, I have disastrously begun to neglect myself. I mean in the sense that my "Goals for 2012" still lay unfinished and mutely articulated, my financial plans not quite as aggressive as originally intended, and my professional ambitions sadly put off for another opportunity. I believe this is a breeching point. A time to MOVE and be moved.

So, with that so clearly stated, I will begin by marking my true goals, intuitions and ambitions here:

1) Become fluent in Arabic by 2014.

2) Save 20K in retirement by 2014.

3) Stop waiting for other people.

4) Create a dream board.

5) Write and read everyday.

6) Exercise.

7) Find peace in simplicity and learn to live and enjoy the moment.

8) Satisfy myself.

Day 13 - 20 things to know by age 20

20 Things To Know By Age 20.



1. The world is trying to keep you stupid. From bank fees to interest rates to miracle diets, people who are not educated are easier to get money from and easier to lead. Educate yourself as much as possible for wealth, independence, and happiness.

2. Do not have faith in institutions to educate you. By the time they build the curriculum, it’s likely that the system is outdated– sometimes utterly broken. You both learn and get respect from people worth getting it from by leading and doing, not by following.

3. Read as much as you can. Learn to speed read with high retention. Emerson Spartz taught me this while I was at a Summit Series event. If he reads 2-3 books a week, you can read one.

4. Connect with everyone, all the time. Be genuine about it. Learn to find something you like in each person, and then speak to that thing.

5. Don’t waste time being shy. Shyness is the belief that your emotions should be the arbitrators of your decision making process when the opposite is actually true.

6. If you feel weird about something during a relationship, that’s usually what you end up breaking up over.

7. Have as much contact as possible with older people. Personally, I met people at Podcamps. My friend Greg, at the age of 13, met his first future employer sitting next to him on a plane. The reason this is so valuable is because people your age don’t usually have the decision-making ability to help you very much. Also they know almost everything you will learn later, so ask them.

8. Find people that are cooler than you and hang out with them too. This and the corollary are both important: “don’t attempt to be average inside your group. Continuously attempt to be cooler than them (by doing cooler things, being more laid back, accepting, ambitious, etc.).”

9. You will become more conservative over time. This is just a fact. Those you surround yourself with create a kind of “bubble” that pushes you to support the status quo. For this reason, you need to do your craziest stuff NOW. Later on, you’ll become too afraid. Trust me.

10. Reduce all expenses as much as possible. I mean it. This creates a safety net that will allow you to do the crazier shit I mentioned above.

11. Instead of getting status through objects (which provide only temporary boosts), do it through experiences. In other words, a trip to Paris is a better choice than a new wardrobe. Studies show this also boosts happiness.

12. While you are living on the cheap, solve the money problem. Use the internet, because it’s like a cool little machine that helps you do your bidding. If you are currently living paycheck to paycheck, extend that to three weeks instead of two. Then, as you get better, you can think a month ahead, then three months, then six, and finally a year ahead. (The goal is to get to a point where you are thinking 5 years ahead.)

13. Learn to program.

14. Get a six-pack (or get thin, whatever your goal is) while you are young. Your hormones are in a better place to help you do this at a younger age. Don’t waste this opportunity, trust me.

15. Learn to cook. This will make everything much easier and it turns food from a chore + expensive habit into a pleasant + frugal one. I’m a big Jamie Oliver fan, but whatever you like is fine.

16. Sleep well. This and cooking will help with the six pack. If you think “I can sleep when I’m dead” or “I have too much to do to sleep,” I have news for you: you are INEFFICIENT, and sleep deprivation isn’t helping.

17. Get a reminder app for everything. Do not trust your own brain for your memory. Do not trust it for what you “feel like” you should be doing. Trust only the reminder app. I use RE.minder and Action Method.

18. Choose something huge to do, as well as allowing the waves of opportunity to help you along. If you don’t set goals, some stuff may happen, but if you do choose, lots more will.

19. Get known for one thing. Spend like 5 years doing it instead of flopping around all over the place. If you want to shift afterwards, go ahead. Like I said, choose something.

20. Don’t try to “fix” anyone. Instead, look for someone who isn’t broken.

Written by: Julian Smith inoveryourhead.net

Day 12 - How to write a resignation letter

In preparation for my resignation in 31 days... I will highlight here the best DO's and DON'Ts of leaving your job gracefully.


Once you have decided that it IS time for you to go, there are many ways to bow out in a respectful and professional way.

In-person Resignation:
This is by far the best way to begin the process. Standard courtesy is a 2-week notice in writing. This will depend on what kind of job you have as well. For example: if you have a contract that stipulates a particular amount of notice must be given, be sure to adhere to that. Occasionally, depending on your company, tenure and position, you may feel inclined to give a much longer notice, for example 3 or even 10 weeks. Be sure to gauge this wisely, too much notice CAN backfire.

Official letter: Here is an example of an official resignation letter.

Please accept this as my final notice of resignation. My last day of employment will be May 31st.


Thank you so much for (length of employment) with your organization. I have worked alongside some excellent colleagues, and have had so many opportunities to grow and develop as a professional. I appreciate the opportunities I have been given and I wish the company success in the future.


Please please provide me with information about the exit process. I am specifically interested in how my employee accounts will be settled (vacation leave, employee benefits and 401K).


I will never forget my time at (company name here). Please let me know if you need any assistance with the transition. I am available between now and 5/31 to finalize any out-processing procedures.

Email Resignation: Of course the preferred method of resignation is an in-person, written notice, however there may be circumstances that prevent you from doing so. When necessary an email may be used. This is very similar to the actual written letter of resignation, but is often used for a more abrupt closure. Remember to remain professional, direct and concise. This will go into your professional work file and as such it is imperative to proof your language and be as formal as possible in the note.

Over-the-Phone Resignation: Just remember with this one to remain as positive and calm as possible. Be polite and answer their questions clearly. State your concerns and reasons for leaving directly. Avoid rambling and bad mouthing fellow co-workers or managers. *Do not confuse this tip with honest remarks about the reason why you are leaving.* Most companies have an exit process that involves an exit interview. This may simply be a packet that is sent in the mail for you to return if you so choose. As a result, many HR managers will ask a small series of questions during an over-the-phone resignation that are also included in the exit interview. Remember there IS a valid reason for why you are leaving, and though the company may be sad to see you go, they want to prevent any further retention hits. Be honest when telling them why you have decided to move on.

Tips:

1) Do not brag about your new job - Many of your co-workers, colleagues and managers will miss you and be sad to see you go. It is best not to rub it in their face that you are moving on to bigger and more exciting things. They already know.

2) Get a letter of recommendation - I recommend getting this when you give your 2-weeks notice. (Note: You can give your in-person notice to HR directly, or to your immediate manager, but be sure to follow up with a formal written version.) This will ensure that you have your managerial teams support in your new decision, may alleviate some office hostility and will be very useful in your new position.

3) Have a plan - My grandmother always told me it is best to quit your current job, only when you have another already lined up and in the bag. Whether you are moving on to own your own business, make a significant career change, travel the world, or be a stay at home parent, taking the time to make a plan will make all the difference after "the big decision."

4) Try to save up - Another tip from grandma: "Have at least six months expenses in your savings." I recommend much more than that, based off of my standard of living. Take all your expenses into consideration: loans, mortgage, child support, travel, car notes etc. When you scale it all the way down, there's a great chance you can live off much less than you currently make, when you stick closely to your budget and you begin to eliminate extraneous spending.

Good luck!

Day 11 - 9 questions to help you focus and plan

‎"Don't ask yourself what the world needs; ask yourself what makes you come alive. And then go and do that. Because what the world needs is people who have come alive."
 - Howard Thurman

Living on the Edge - Cracking under pressure
Source:  http://www.juan-vela-art.com/GALLERY-3.html   

She writes:
Here's the good news; it's never too late to start living your life on
purpose.  Below is a list of questions you need to answer about
yourself.  Take the time to write out your responses. You can use a
word processor if you must, but I like to write these kinds of
exercises longhand because it engages more of my brain, and invokes
more of my intuitive mind.

1. When you were a child, how did you answer when anyone asked you,
"What do you want to be when you grow up?"  How realistic was your
answer?  Is that something you could see yourself doing today?  As
children, we were very intuitive.  Perhaps becoming an astronaut or
fire fighter is no longer in your value system, but what does that
desire tell you about what you could be doing?

2. What special skills or talents do you have?  Do you have a knack
for taking things apart and putting them back together?  Are you
amazingly able to connect with people no matter what their background?
 What are you just naturally good at?  What have you been told you're
good at?  Write down everything that comes to mind and leave room for
writing more as you think of them later.

3. There was a time, it could have been a long time ago, or recently,
when you did something that made you feel like you were on top of the
world.  What was it?  What were you doing?

4. What do you like to do?  What do you do in your spare time?  What
do you choose to read about?  What are your hobbies?

5. There is something that you do, that, when you're doing it, 
you completely lose track of time.  Hours feel like minutes.  
What is it? What are you doing?

6. What do you have a passion for?  Is there a business near you that
could utilize that passion?  Do you already have the skills necessary
to work there?  Do you need to get more education? You might have a
passion for and a burning commitment to several things.  That's fine.
What are they?  How do they correlate?

7. How much money do you need/want to make?  This is important because
it will help you determine at what level you need to pursue your
passion.  Where I live, you would not make enough money as a yoga
instructor to support a family.  Therefore, you would need to think
bigger - owning your own gym, where you are the yoga instructor, but
the money comes from the business of selling memberships with access
to a wide variety of equipment and space.

8. What does the market need right now?  How can you use your special
talents to meet that need?  Don't skip past this question.  If you
need to do some research, do it.  This is important not because you
will fail if you ignore it, but because attempting something that's
going to be hard to sell will discourage you.  It will take you longer
to find where you fit in.  More importantly, there is some way you can
make your passion fit what today's market needs and that's the
ultimate joy - not only are you doing what you love, but your
customers, whoever they are, are in love with what you have to offer.

9. What would you do if you knew you could not fail? Oliver Wendell
Homes said, "All limitations are self-imposed."  There really is no
such thing as failure in business; there are only results.  If your
first idea doesn't work, you'll try another one.  The great thing
about working in an area you are passionate about is that everything
you do builds on the next step.

This exercise is meant to spark creative thought and inspiration. I hope it helps you as much as it has helped guide my thoughts and plans for this awesome leap!

*These are some questions I found on a quirky blog that were helpful to me. (I exited my browser at work (yes I blog on my "quitting my job" blog at work lol) and could not for the life of me find that page again...so if you know who posted this I would love to give her credit!)

Day 10 - Living on the Edge

This is how I feel today.

Alright, so my astrological sign is Capricorn (hence the goat climbing the mountain above)...and despite my feeble attempts at spontaneity, I seldom find myself successful. As a result I have revamped my definition of spontaneous: enjoy planning for the unexpected.

Now some may say, DUH!? Isn't that the point, NOT TO PLAN?

And to those I would say, "Sure. I, however, find my fun in planning all of my options and and then choosing which one I want to do at the last minute!"

Doesn't matter how you live on the edge, just that you do it. 

I say all that to say, throughout this process and preparation for leaving my corporate America job, I have really tried to channel my inner wild woman, and find ways to just go crazy and break the mold!

Again, wildly unsuccessful.

I HAVE however, begun to count ways in which I can prepare for this lifestyle change and open myself up for new options and opportunities.

See Blog post Day 11...

Day 9 - Letting go of F.E.A.R.

What is fear exactly?


I have a good friend that always reminds me:
F - False
E - Evidence
A - Appearing
R - Real

Now I don't remember exactly where she got this acryonm, but I refer to it regularly and try to pass it on.

There are alot of reasons why we hold onto things, people and situations that we already know are unhealthly or unwise to engage in. Many of those reasons can be tied back to F.E.A.R.

Fear of losing someone,
fear of being alone,
fear of insecurity,
fear of creating problems,
fear of success,
fear of other peoples opinions,
fear of insufficiency or unreadiness
fear of the unknown
fear of change and so on....


"Your beliefs meet you in the face when you look in the mirror. They form your image. You cannot escape your beliefs. They are, however, the method by which you create your experience." - Exerpt from The Seth Materials, Audio Vol. 1 Tape 1.


Therefore, if you believe you are afraid, you will be afraid. Consequently, if you believe you are brave you will begin to live out those attributes and gain confidence in yourself to make challenging, and sometimes, life-changing decisions.

One big inducer of fear that I have experienced is change.

I have personally felt these effects before. I have friends that get very anxious when they know something new and different is on the horizon, and not just something unexpected, but but where the outcome is unpredictable. As a result of this uncertainy they can become timid and immobile, to the point that they miss some really awesome opportunities as a result.

Fear can have a lot of power of you....if you let it.

Today I challenge you to remove that fear. Remember, it is simply False Evidence Appearing Real. The reality that we live is the one that we create now.


   "The longer you wait for the future, the shorter it will be."

ACT.

Day 8 - Personal Relationships

Gosh, you know when you have those moments when you want to kick yourself in the butt for liking something, but deep down you really want to hate it?

Of course you do. Because everyone lives inside my head, I will let you in on a little secret that you probably already know...

It's not always easy to stop doing something after you've been doing it for so long. 

WHY? ...I will gladly tell you:

You build really cool, lasting relationships.

Whether it's with your accounts, your employees or your customers, people like consistency. They like to call in and ask for "_________." They enjoy working with someone who is familiar, who is sensitive and aware of their situations. They want to go...where everybody knows their name. (loved that show) 



I didn't really think about this part of the separation process when I began my journey. I would not consider myself much of a "sapp," if you will, but I do care about my employees.

I was thinking the other day, about how many of them will be shocked, upset, frustrated, or excited? There is a sense of familiarity, and family in a way. At my job we spends HOURS upon HOURS with each other, working on projects, attending company meetings, trainings and so on. You remember who got married to whom; you learn their kids names and birthdays. You make Christmas cookies and organize office parties. Sigh...



It is all very comforting. The only thing is, that's about all it is:

Comfortable. Easy. Predicatable.

Most of the people who enjoy this kind of lifestyle do not particularly welcome change. 

They also, consequently, do not end up anywhere they have not been before. 

---I'm feeling a bit nostalgic about leaving my employees today. It kinda stinks.

I've hired a lot of them, seen them grow and develop since they first started, and hopefully they've learned more about the world around them from the lessons I've taught them, shown them and shared with them. The personal growth stories are priceless. Sigh*

At the end of the day, they will still be here long after I am gone.

Life is not nearly as complicated as we make it. 

To leave, or not to leave...there is no question.

Day 7 - Stress, Bureaucracy and Bullsh*t

Ah, the lovely world of protocol. This wonderful place where the guidelines are simply suggestions, the rules are self-explanatory and the name of the game is, "Do what feels right." Sike.

Where I work you must adhere to your duties and prepare to be subject to everyone else's opinions about how well you perform them. While it is often said that everyone brings an individual and unique perspective to the work environment, you are clearly expected to adjust those lenses and conform, point blank. We are not interested in self discovery, not on our dollar. And be sure to clock in at the exact minute you got here. Okay, 8:02 A.M. it is.

Now what I love most about corporate America is the red tape. Yes, the places they want to you go only in your mind...as you think of new marketing strategies and ways to minimize expenses and increase the profit margin. Be innovative, yes! Be creative, yes! Be enthusiastic, yes! But B out of line and your A will B plum out of luck as they C you to the door.

Let me (re-)introduce you to the stress, bureaucracy and bullsh*t you NO DOUBT have experienced at your job.

1) Gossip

This barely needs any elaboration. You walk in five minutes early to settle in and get your coffee and none other than "Dan the man" is waiting at your desk ready to challenge your early morning mental capacity for sarcasm by commenting on Sarah's powerpoint presentation and email sent out last night. Did you proof it? Of course. Were there lots of errors? Sure. Should she be able to do her job better. You bet. Do you care. Not in the slightest.

2) Small Talk

Ha! This is one of my favorites. Hello Mr. Boss-who-I-could-care-less-how-your-kid-did-in-her-softball-game-last-night Smith. SOOO great to see you again! Yes, I still have my dog Lucky. He's doing well. Oh no, I didn't get a chance to attend the company happy hour last week. Oh, certainly I will be at the meeting on Friday at 7:00 A.M. Absolutely looking forward to the reivew of the annual Orlando meeting! Great! You too! Byyyye!

Gag me.

3) Write ups. Demerits. Verbal warnings. You name it and I've done it. For all the nuances and idiosyncracies in life, sending someone home for a dress code violation doesn't seem quite as important as that person who was late five consecutive times. It's all just a matter of principal. And you have to follow our rules. The End. I still don't know why I should have to pay $1.00 just to wear pants on Fridays though, just saying.

4) After-hours events

Please raise your hand if you enjoy spending Thursday evenings at after-hours events with your work....Oooh! ME! ME! Yeah, when there's free food and beverages, sure. However when I have better things to do than waste spend a Friday evening with my work crew networking and mingling, I certainly will go home and catch up on the gossip on Monday. (See reason #1 above)

There IS something to be said for the value of networking and business luncheons and such. However, when we are on MY time and "off the clock" I will spend it MY way.

Needless to say, this is one small piece of corporate America that I will be happy to leave behind.